she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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