Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
