sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
