Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize