OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
