quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
