I swear she didn't look like that last week.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
