I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
