Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize