Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
OPIZZABONMYDICK
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
