they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
