How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
sex in a hospital.. check
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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