it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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