Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
