You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
