He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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