my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
