in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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