There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
