So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
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