this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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