how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
