It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
