mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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