my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize