Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My boob is missing a layer of skin
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
