I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
