i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
