The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
