White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
