people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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