my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
