I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
