you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize