I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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