I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
