I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
