Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
