Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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