i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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