i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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