it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
