oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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