The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize