What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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