it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
