im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
