Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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