He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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