Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
