You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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