i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
