the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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