I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
