I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
why do cheetos always look like penises
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
