"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize