Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
