My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
