For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I stole a fireplace last night.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
