Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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