3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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