maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize