its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
